Back in the saddle again!!!!

Well everyone I am back I am down 2 lbs yeah me. I would love to tell you how hard I worked an how I went to the gym an worked out but really all I did was lay in bed feeling sick and sorry for my self. But hey whatever works right! Lol. My mood has come up a lot today. I still don't feel 100% my self my body still feels like someones punching bag. But my emotional side is back to my normal sweet spirit. Lol...

   So I find it kinda nuts how much weight loss consumes my life. I have have done so many diets in my life, I mean I have been over weight my whole life I remember when I was 6 years old I went to my 1st day of kindergarten I came home crying to my mom that I was the fatest kid in school! I remember my mom laughing and saying no your not there are fatter kids then you. Growing up I have to credit my mom because she never made me feel bad about my weight. Which I am grateful for because even through I was overweight my whole life I have really never had low self-esteem. I had great friends all through school, I mean kids are kids so sure I got teased but I just tried to make a joke of it or just pretend I did not hear them. But through all of that I still never really felt bad about myself as long as I had friends which I always did I was content.

   So now here I am 37 years old I still have great friends that accept me for me! But I am still over weight. I still have pretty good self worth but I ready to move on an drop the extra weight an not for everyone else but for me. You know I always said I was waiting for that moment when I was like that is it. I cant do this anymore.  You know every good weight loss story the person who drops 200 -300 lbs was like I did it for my kids, or saw this picture and I was like OMG.... NOPE not me.  I still don't think I have had that moment.  I wish I could say it was some great moment in time that I was like Oh my gosh I am so fat. boo hoo hoo.  But I really have not had that.  I just finally decided I wanted to be the hot girl.  I mean don't get me wrong I am hot .... I am damn sexy.  But I really am ready to be even hotter.  lol..

   Ok you know my whole life I have heard "she is such a pretty girl, just if she could lose some weight." .  One of my brother friends, even told him your sister is hot dude if she would loose some weight I'd date her.  blah blah blah.. I call that bull shit.  She that is my problem I am so dang stubborn I want people to accept me for who I am.   But the sad truth is I missed out on a lot because of my weight. I never got to go to any of the high school dances, I did not get asked to the prom.  I try an pretend that does not hurt but it does you know.  I have problem been out on 5 dates in my life.  And 3 out of 5 I asked the guy I am sure.  But oh well the past is the past and I can;t live in it.  But 1 thing I can do is use it to help me want to loose weight.  And I do.  I want to be fab by 40.  So that is where I am at. and some of my back story.  Which I know everyone out there is dying to hear more of my story.  Which I will share as we go along this journey.    But here is to a good day. and saying good by to the LBS.............   TTFN CHAN