So today is better I am down 1.6 lbs since yesterday which brings me to 31 lbs down since start of HCG and 43lbs since Dec. WOW I know I should be happy but I am bummed today is my last day of shots and I am 9 lbs away from where I wanted to be.
You know I have never stressed about this before so it is really hard to deal with. I know I sound like a whining baby I mean honestly 31bs is not bad at all. I guess I am really scared of going on phase 3 and gaining it all back, and if I was down 40 lbs the margin for error will be bigger plus when I go on my load I am scared of gaining so much that I am starting over. Holy mole who is neurotic mess now right.
Wow what mess I am. It is just hard because this weight loss means so much it is a new life for me! I have dreams of cute clothes and shoes and let's face it I see men lots of men in my future lol ok ok I know now I am pushing it! Lol because that brings up a all new set of problems. Sure I want to get a BTF (boy toy for now) but I am stressed about how ugly my body will be with all that fat hanging skin. Omg I just can;t think about it, it make me so upset and grrrrrr I hate it, lol what a mess I am right !
Hell I hope no one is reading this to be inspired because I am lacking in inspiration the last few days. But what I am doing is trying to keep it real right. Diets suck there is good and bad and you have to take the good with the bad "cause that's the facts of life, the facts of life". Sorry felt likee busting into song there lol. No but honestly today is another day I just have to take it a day at a time. The past is in the past and you can't change it and as for the future what is the point in stressing about what has not happened yet! Wow I am full of good advise now if I can only take my own advise right. Focus on right now that is the only thing I can do anything about and sometimes even then I have no control in what is going to happen- oh brother ! Ok ok so here goes another day. Let's hope for big loss ! TTFN Chan
No comments:
Post a Comment