Tuesday, April 19, 2011

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN !

    Well folks it has been 4 days of hell, but I am back and working at losin it.  My weight loss like everything else is my life is a fight.  Now I don't say this because I am on a pity party train but because like always I am just trying to keep it real.

   I started round 2 of injections and things just were not right.  I was hungry all the time.  I was losing but very very slow or at least I felt like it.  Now I do know and totally understand that round 2 I may not lose as good as I did round 1 but like all things in life your mind may know that but it not always easy to truly believe or follow that.   So I went on line to my HCG support group they were a huge help 1st to read I am not the only 1 struggling on R2 was great.  But they also had great ideas of how to jump start things and get back on track.  They suggest a reload, or mini load that you do in the middle of the cycle this sounds great to me.  But it did not work out the way I had hoped it would.

    Thursday night I started and Friday morning I stopped my shots.   Well lets just say that was the beginning of hell !!  I tried to load all weekend, no matter what I ate or how much it made me sick.  I was throwing up and on the toilet most of the weekend.  I felt awful.  I just was so sick I could not enjoy my load at all.  Now last time I loaded I felt sick also but I blew it off as the flu.  I am here to say it was not the flu.  My body hates all that crap in my me.  I was still sick yesterday morning.  It just sucked big time.

    But as all things in life there was lesson to be learned there.  No. 1 Junk food is bad mum-k  No. 2 diet not so bad !  I was never so excited to eat salad and chicken in my life yesterday. And today my body has rewarded me.  Not in the way I would of liked mind you a loss would of been GREAT, but no !!  I am still at 349.6 lbs.  which is where I started 5 days ago, and where I was yesterday disappointing yes, devastating no not like before.  I have been sick for days throwing up and potty problems, I am hoping my body is just trying to rehydrate.

    But in all this I will say this, my body may still be hurting a little, I may not of lost any weight but my spirts are up and I feel good emotionally.  I know once again this is what I want and that it maybe be a fight but I am back and trying hard. I don't crave or even want the junk..  I want to eat healthy and feel good.  And next load we will try to load different with healthy fats and see if that will work out better.   So I am back Jack !!!    Here we go !!   TTFN   Chan

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